Updated: Dec 30, 2018
You open Instagram and the first picture you see is of your favorite celebrity couple. Scroll through the stories on Snapchat and the headline of Cosmopolitan’s story is titled, “Do You Love Him?”. Love, relationships, “cuffing season”: it’s everywhere. In 2017, there were 109 million Americans who were divorced, never married, or single their entire lives (Washington Post). In New York City alone, there are more single women than men (New York Post). Why is this? The short answer: society. The long answer: people are pushing love and marriage to the side and putting jobs and education first.
The first example is related to social change. Firstly, women are becoming more independent and relying on themselves to sustain their lives and actually live. The old stereotype that women worked at home and took care of the children is fading, and now there are more job offerings for women and many successful females in the business world. Women are starting to care less about their love lives and more about their jobs or their social status. Or, the alternative could be that these people are starting to care less about their love lives because of jobs. Many jobs that are opening up require more experience and more knowledge than the typical job 100 years ago. People are more focused on their contributions to society and bettering their field that they have no time or interest in attempting a relationship or starting a family. Society is molding both these issues here.
The second example is about sex and hookups. Intimate relationships are becoming more popular in this world. Hookups and one-night stands can be great and all, but it’s holding people back from going on real dates and feeling the emotional connection. The obvious benefits from hookups are less commitment and the fact that your friendship with that person has a lower chance of being ruined by your fling with them. But, there are negatives to just having sex and not actually devoting the emotional aspect to the relationship. When you date someone, you can have sex with them and have fun together on dates. There’s also a higher chance that your small hookups with the person you’re dating can turn into something more emotional or sensual, which in turn gives you a closer connection with your partner.
The final example is liberation. Okay, liberation might be too broad of a term but many people are either scared of commitment, too lazy to commit to a partner, or not ready for the commitment. People who are scared of commitment are usually the hookup types. They complain about never being in a relationship, yet they don’t have the guts to go out and explore the possibility of dating. The reason why these people are single is obvious; they pussy out of the effort you put into a relationship. People who are too lazy to commit are just assholes. If it doesn’t work out, then that person isn’t right for you. Commitment isn’t too bad if you find the right person. And if it doesn’t work out, you just score yourself some more experience. People who are not ready for commitment may have their own reasons for not wanting to pay attention to someone, but that can be easily overcome. Maybe it’s their work schedules or maybe they’re going through something. Don’t push these types of people into relationships or else there’s a higher chance of it ruining their lives.
Go out there. It doesn’t hurt to fall in love. Get your heart broken, make love, start a family. But don’t force yourself into a relationship just because everyone else is in one. Love takes time and the best kind of relationship is one you enjoy.